hello siegfried! hello roy!

the last gasp

They’re Back! For one night. For one trick. With Montecore, the same tiger that ate Roy’s face… Sorry, “moved him out of danger”. According to E! online,

“The illusionist suffered deep wounds to his neck, massive blood loss, a crushed windpipe and a minor stroke when their beloved pet dragged him offstage before a shocked crowd. Horn survived after two surgeries and extensive physical rehabilitation. Although the incident left him partially paralyzed with limited motor skills, doctors described his recovery as “miraculous.” … Horn then came out unaided, wearing black robes, a white shirt and a skeletal mask. After opening a silver lid that emitted flames, his partner of four-plus decades emerged, wearing white robes and a mask.”

The BBC says

“After the incident, Horn claimed that the tiger had tried to move him out of danger after he fainted – a theory which was disputed by animal experts.”

Beloved pet my ass… Just like good ol’ Travis.

More designer babies

I told you weeks ago, and no one listened. The BBC knows…

“Not all patients will qualify for these tests and we make NO guarantees as to ‘perfect prediction’ of things such as eye colour or hair colour,” says the clinic’s website. Dr Steinberg said: “I would not say this is a dangerous road. It’s an uncharted road.” He said the capability to offer such services had been around for years, but had been ignored by the medical community. “It’s time for everyone to pull their heads out of the sand.”

except babies...

A phenomenal week for the animal kingdom

travis attempting to gain entry to police cruiser

there's a 5 year old inside...

Chimp maulings, babies stolen by dingoes, I mean crocodiles…. At least the crocodile gets to live. Travis had much worse luck. I don’t know what was expected from a chimpanzee that was probably hung over after drinking wine from a stemmed glass, then fed Xanax without a scrip. Our world has problems, but at least mother nature is using her stronger animals to sort us out a little bit.

Snake, Tempter of Eve

Giant Snake.

In Columbia, in one of the world’s largest open pit coal mines, a snake is found. The snake is huge. It’s dead. Ice Cube and J Lo are safe. It’s a fossil. But it’s still huge. Estimated at about the length of a bus (42 ft), the snake’s diameter was calculated to be around 3 ft. Think about what your baby boa constrictor eats (mice) and apply to this guy. A pig would be a tiny snack for a snake this size. Jesus.

Recent Absurdity

When divorcing, take 50% of everything. Donated organs included.

“Divorce man ‘wants kidney back’” by the BBC.

Oops… Chavez needs money. When times are tight, abandon your principles and court the West, naturally. It seems like Shell, Chevron and Royal should give you a square deal. That’s been their M.O. in the past.

“Chavez Reopens Oil Bids to West as Prices Plunge” by the New York Times.

And, best of all, XANAX!!! No prescription necessary, according to Anderson Cooper, the epitome of modern journalism.

“Easy to buy drugs online?” by CNN

And so it begins…

The first breast-cancer-gene-less baby has been born in the U.K, hopefully ushering in the era when designer babies can be created by anyone with anything for any reason at all.

With the final goal of achieving perfection in humanity.

MUSIC!

enjoy.

Such Phenomenal Timing

Making obscenely obvious what everyone (except conservative Republicans and half of moderate Republicans) already knows, the New York Times published a draft version of the Office of the Special Inspector General for Iraq Reconstruction’s report. It turns out we didn’t accomplish the mission like we thought… The quote that begins the “Planning to Rebuild Iraq” section is below.

From the New York Times:

I have no idea what CENTCOM was planning, and I have absolutely no idea what the Joint Chiefs of Staff were planning.  I do know that political guidance they were getting from Rumsfeld, the NSC, and the White House was, ‘You got about three months to get this thing up and running.’

- General Colin Powell,
Secretary of State (2001-2005)

Full NY Times article here.

Full draft “Hard Lessons: The Iraq Reconstruction Experience” here.

But for some strange reason, this seems to be overshadowing the report:

The BBC coverage here.

And, in closing…

Mumbai? Compare to Ciudad Juarez.

According to Sun Media Wire Services, at least 12 masked gunmen blasted the hell out of a restaurant, killing 8, then took off. No arrests. The BBC says that this was not so out of the norm, as 25 people total were killed in the same night. This, in one city, complements the nation’s “official” kidnapping rate of 3-4 people a day. This is estimated to be about 7 times lower than the actual rates, since most go unreported.

In Mumbai, somewhere around 200 people died over about 48 hours? Horrific, yes. Especially since the attacks, though well planned, were carried out with the simplest of weapons, small arms and hand grenades. If this can be accomplished so easily with these weapons, why do we overlook weapon seizures in Mexico, less than a day’s drive from our relatively undefended border, that make this look like small potatoes?

According to Stratfor.com, authorities made the largest weapons seizure in Mexican history with a November 6, 2008 raid, and found 540 assault rifles, more than 500,000 rounds of ammunition, 14 cartridges of dynamite, 98 fragmentation grenades, 67 bullet-proof vests, seven Barrett .50-caliber sniper rifles and a LAW rocket.

LAW Rocket. An anti-tank weapon.

.50 Caliber Barrett

The Barret sniper rifle can decommission a truck with one round to the engine block. From over a mile and a half away. Who worries about the border patrol when you can stop anything they throw at you from that far away? Not to mention the fact that they had a rocket launcher. And it is certainly not the first seized this year, in fact varying statistics say that upwards of 16 rocket launchers have been seized. Just seized. How many more are floating around, miles from our border?

My point? Mumbai was a horrible tragedy, but every 48 hours at least as many people are killed in drug violence in Mexico. With ridiculously advanced weapons. Why is it frontpage news when 10 gunmen kill westerners in Mumbai, but no one pays a second thought to masked men using almost the exact same tactics miles from out border?

Images courtesy of wikipedia.

greetings from our insect overlords

via delicious ghost: “… in this video, researchers want [to] figure out what the underground lair of some crazy ant species looks like. So they pour concrete down the mofo, let it harden, then excavate the results …”

a rehydration recipe

delicious:

You can fix yourself a pair of pints in your own kitchen following this deliberately memorable recipe: simply stir one level teaspoon of salt, and eight level teaspoons of sugar, into one litre (5 cupfuls) of drinkable water. Then sit back on your balcony, toast the fact that you don’t really have cholera, and savour the flavour of a drink that saves one child’s life every 11 seconds.

and why are we so glad that we don’t have cholera?

Time Lapse Mushroom Video

With appropriate theme music:

Maker’s Notebook Goes Online

Check it out:

from the MAKE blog:

Ask tech DIY enthusiasts, backyard scientists, and makers what their ultimate workshop notebook would look like (as the folks over at MAKE magazine did recently) and you’ll get a truckload of ideas, opinions, and preferences. So the MAKE & CRAFT editors and staffers put their heads together. They boiled down all the feedback, crafted a distinctive design, and devised an ideal workshop notebook for makers of all ilks.

baby smuggling, fatasses, and grave robbing.

The BBC:

Item 1:

“Peace Sandberg, who was living in the UK, went to Nigeria and bought a baby to become eligible for a council flat, Isleworth Court Court heard…She was reported to police after she initially told council staff she had given birth to the boy, then changed her story to say he was adopted...

At the end of 2006 she flew back to Nigeria… She had already sent £150 which the police believe was payment for the baby boy.”

In 2008 dollars, according to XE.com, that is $293.67. With a full stimulus package one could buy 2 infants (presumably on the black market) in Nigeria…

Item #2:

“Obese Blamed For World’s Ills”

“The team found that obese people require 1,680 daily calories to sustain normal energy and another 1,280 to maintain daily activities – a fifth more than normal… What is more, the researchers said obese people are likely to rely on transport more and put more strain on that transport because of their mass, which again drives up prices and usage.”

I should be fair, I suppose…

National Association for the Advancement of Fat Acceptance says:

“Historically, obesity researchers have sought an answer to the question, “How can we make fat people thin?” and have spent a half-century and billions of dollars in an unsuccessful attempt to find permanent behavioral, dietary, pharmaceutical, and surgical treatments for fatness. The underlying assumptions in such a pursuit are that thinness is more desirable than fatness, that fatness increases health risks, that permanent weight loss is possible, and that weight loss mitigates morbidity factors and increases longevity.”

On second thought, I’m with the BBC and have been since day 1.

Image courtesy of www.thecoca-colacompany.com

Kind of ironic, I think…

And, Item #3 is courtesy of CNN.com:

“The former head of UCLA’s cadaver program and a businessman were indicted Friday on eight felony counts involving black market sales of human body parts.

Henry Reid, the former director of UCLA’s willed body program, allegedly sold donated body parts to businessman Ernest Nelson, who then resold them to medical, pharmaceutical and hospital research companies.”

They made over $1,000,000. Maybe after these guys serve their 6 months in minimum security they could get a hold of the lady who has all the good black market baby connections. Well, $293.67 goes into $1,000,000 about 3405 times. I’ll let you apply the units.

The Pope may be abandoning us

Not necessarily in this lifetime, as we still haven’t even sent a human past the moon. However, it is a question of when, not if, we meet intelligent extraterrestrial life, because they may be free of original sin.

This possibility was implied by Father Gabriel Fuenes (the Vatican’s chief astronomer) in the Vatican’s official newspaper.

World Net Daily reports on May 13, 2008:

“Just as there is a multiplicity of creatures over the earth, so there could be other beings, even intelligent, created by God. This is not in contradiction with our faith, because we cannot establish limits to God’s creative freedom,” he told the newspaper. “To say it with St. Francis, if we can consider some earthly creatures as ‘brothers’ or ’sisters,’ why could we not speak of a ‘brother alien’? He would also belong to the creation,” he said.

“Fr. Funes says that taking the image of the lost sheep in Gospel, ‘we could think that in this universe there can be 100 sheep, equivalent to different kinds of creatures. We, belonging to human kind could be precisely the lost sheep, the sinners that need the shepherd. God became man in Jesus to save us.

In that way, assuming that there would be other intelligent beings, we could not say that they need redemption. They could have remained in full friendship with the Creator,’” Catholic News Agency quoted him saying.

This leaves the Pope little incentive for remaining with his human flock, in my humble opinion.

The Bird Flu, Shorty

The BBC says: “South Korean officials say they have killed the entire poultry population of Seoul to curb the spread of bird flu.

Quarantine officers destroyed 15,000 chickens, ducks and turkeys in farms and restaurants across the capital

… Bird flu is currently relatively difficult for humans to catch, but health authorities fear it could mutate into a form that is much more easily spread among humans, which could cause a pandemic.

The World Health Organization says at least 240 people have died from bird flu since 2003. Most human cases so far have been linked to direct contact with infected poultry.”

Gucci Mane says: “I’ve got the bird flu shorty, in the summer it’s Christmas.”

I would totally puke in those tits…