hello siegfried! hello roy!

the last gasp

They’re Back! For one night. For one trick. With Montecore, the same tiger that ate Roy’s face… Sorry, “moved him out of danger”. According to E! online,

“The illusionist suffered deep wounds to his neck, massive blood loss, a crushed windpipe and a minor stroke when their beloved pet dragged him offstage before a shocked crowd. Horn survived after two surgeries and extensive physical rehabilitation. Although the incident left him partially paralyzed with limited motor skills, doctors described his recovery as “miraculous.” … Horn then came out unaided, wearing black robes, a white shirt and a skeletal mask. After opening a silver lid that emitted flames, his partner of four-plus decades emerged, wearing white robes and a mask.”

The BBC says

“After the incident, Horn claimed that the tiger had tried to move him out of danger after he fainted – a theory which was disputed by animal experts.”

Beloved pet my ass… Just like good ol’ Travis.

More designer babies

I told you weeks ago, and no one listened. The BBC knows…

“Not all patients will qualify for these tests and we make NO guarantees as to ‘perfect prediction’ of things such as eye colour or hair colour,” says the clinic’s website. Dr Steinberg said: “I would not say this is a dangerous road. It’s an uncharted road.” He said the capability to offer such services had been around for years, but had been ignored by the medical community. “It’s time for everyone to pull their heads out of the sand.”

except babies...

A phenomenal week for the animal kingdom

travis attempting to gain entry to police cruiser

there's a 5 year old inside...

Chimp maulings, babies stolen by dingoes, I mean crocodiles…. At least the crocodile gets to live. Travis had much worse luck. I don’t know what was expected from a chimpanzee that was probably hung over after drinking wine from a stemmed glass, then fed Xanax without a scrip. Our world has problems, but at least mother nature is using her stronger animals to sort us out a little bit.

Snake, Tempter of Eve

Giant Snake.

In Columbia, in one of the world’s largest open pit coal mines, a snake is found. The snake is huge. It’s dead. Ice Cube and J Lo are safe. It’s a fossil. But it’s still huge. Estimated at about the length of a bus (42 ft), the snake’s diameter was calculated to be around 3 ft. Think about what your baby boa constrictor eats (mice) and apply to this guy. A pig would be a tiny snack for a snake this size. Jesus.

Recent Absurdity

When divorcing, take 50% of everything. Donated organs included.

“Divorce man ‘wants kidney back’” by the BBC.

Oops… Chavez needs money. When times are tight, abandon your principles and court the West, naturally. It seems like Shell, Chevron and Royal should give you a square deal. That’s been their M.O. in the past.

“Chavez Reopens Oil Bids to West as Prices Plunge” by the New York Times.

And, best of all, XANAX!!! No prescription necessary, according to Anderson Cooper, the epitome of modern journalism.

“Easy to buy drugs online?” by CNN

And so it begins…

The first breast-cancer-gene-less baby has been born in the U.K, hopefully ushering in the era when designer babies can be created by anyone with anything for any reason at all.

With the final goal of achieving perfection in humanity.

MUSIC!

enjoy.